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Life Events
I got married this month, which is pretty cool. The ceremony was intimate, with just nine of us altogether, and it was one of those experiences that simultaneously feels like a culmination and a fresh beginning all rolled into one. The choir was profoundly moving, and I felt the genuine warmth and love of my other half’s family, which was its own kind of gift.
Unfortunately, my father couldn’t be there due to a combination of logistics and politics, but despite that absence and some other complicated undercurrents I didn’t fully anticipate, I was simply, overwhelmingly happy to be wedded, and being married unexpectedly feels comfortable rather than strange and new as I expected.
Writing & Reading
The writing habit from last month has persisted, which is both surprising and gratifying. What’s been unexpected is the shift in subject matter: I’ve found myself writing more about things that aren’t typically my forte, such as relationships, values, communication, how we shape and are shaped by the people around us. I suspect this is partly because birthdays are wont to make people reflective. I’ve just been mulling over how extraordinarily complicated people are—how we can hold contradictory feelings, how relationships resist our attempts to categorise them neatly, how grey they are rather than black-and-white. I’ve been reassessing old relationships, reflecting on family and friends, and coming to some uncomfortable realisations. But on a much brighter note, I met a wonderful new pen pal this month that seems honest, authentic, positive, and open in a way that feels increasingly rare. Exchanging letters with them is a true joy.
As for reading, I’ve been largely too busy to read consistently. I finished Conversations with Lee Kuan Yew and moved on to an early translation of The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli, which feels appropriate given my ongoing fascination with power dynamics and governance, but I’ve also been reading about St Basil and other saints. I’ve been thinking lately about how I now read much more slowly and deliberately than when I was younger. Before, it would be all about the quantity: I’d want to devour books and beat my previous reading “record”. But I realised at some point that the “more is more” attitude was actually stunting my potential. I wasn’t retaining the ideas for as long as I wanted, or was overloading myself with so much information I was missing some important lessons and connections. Nowadays, I’m happy I read slowly: each book I finish, I feel I’ve fully digested, and I tend to remember the content and ideas much better, even years after reading them. For that reason, I can even look back and see how my attitude towards each book has changed over time. I find these deep conceptual explorations of books bring more to my life than simply accumulating hordes of information.
Language Learning
Progress in language learning has been marginally smoother this month, which I’m taking as a minor victory. We instituted “no English” time at home, which has been simultaneously frustrating and revelatory. It’s painfully slow—every conversation feels like wading through sludge—but it’s shown me that I actually do know more than I thought I did; my knowledge was just sitting there passively, gathering dust. Being forced out of my comfort zone is helping me to activate what I already know, even if it doesn’t feel particularly graceful in the moment. I’ve also started writing four pages a day in my target language, which is helping to solidify things.Â
Health
My spouse has been persistently (and lovingly) pointing out that I habitually overestimate my physical capabilities and underestimate when I’m actually unwell. I say I’m lazy, but they say I’m not—I burn myself out by refusing to acknowledge my limits. They’re probably right, but this is proving to be one of those insights that’s much easier to intellectually accept than to actually implement. I partially tore a ligament in my foot this month, which was entirely my own fault, and I (of course) keep trying to deny anything is wrong, act as normal, then regret it. One day, I will learn. Probably.
Miscellany
Incidentally, I completed a miniature model kit this month that I received as a birthday gift. It took five hours, looks decidedly mediocre, but was surprisingly enjoyable, as I’ve always loved building things and putting things together since I was a kid, and it made me realise that there’s something deeply satisfying about working with my hands.
Recent Reading
Conversations with Lee Kwan Yew by Tom Plate (Complete)
The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli (In Progress)
Address to Young Men on the Right Use of Greek Literature by St Basil the Great (In Progress)